Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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