dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
