some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
