i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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