better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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