Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
