Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
