Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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