so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
