i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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