I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
