I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
