we have pet lesbian snakes
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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