If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
