Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
