I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want her autograph on my taint
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
