i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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