how can u be prego again
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
