I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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