hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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