This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
