I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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