All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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