...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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