she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
