Plan B is the new Plan A
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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