i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Randomize
