dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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