there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
