The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
