she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
