some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
