it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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