I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He shit in the fireplace
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
