So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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