Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
