I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
