The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize