If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
