he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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