i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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