I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
