I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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