He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
