I want to stick my p in your. b.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
