Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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