He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize
