Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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