Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
