It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
