I like my sex mixed with concussions.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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