New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
