I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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