Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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