I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
