Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
