wat bout pragnant strippers??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Are we still banned from the library?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
