my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
