I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize