Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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