wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wanna passion pit in your ass
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
