Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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