plz talk dirty to me
Just fell off a train. Bad.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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