Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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