I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
