i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
